Thursday, 28 September 2017

Speech

Shopping Disasters

Don't you hate it when your mum says she needs to “pop” into the mall? So do I. Every single time my family is in a car we go to the mall, it's either for shopping, afternoon tea or dinner, or maybe even to look at bras for half an hour for my mum. And don't you just hate it when your mum bumps into a friend or maybe even a person she doesn't even know and has a long yet boring talk for half an hour in the supermarket while you’re standing there freezing to death because they decided to have a conversation beside the frozen food?! 

Well then I have a story to tell you today! On a cold wet day in July, Zeb (my brother) my mum, and myself were in the palms mall looking at clothing in the shop Bras N Things. My brother was about three and I had just turned five.  My mum was quite obviously going to look at clothing and bras for half an hour and then decide not to buy anything as usual so I sat down on a wee plastic chair and, you guessed the chair snapped and I fell on the floor on my butt.  As I was only five it was VERY painful so I quickly pulled my pants down the tiniest bit to check if I had bruised it and, you guessed again, my pants slipped out of my hand and fell to the floor and I thought to myself “why did I decide to wear Thomas the tank engine undies today? I felt so awkward my cheeks went such a bright shade of red I looked like Elmo’s cousin. 

I pulled my pants up very quickly and ran over to my mum, surprise surprise she was having a looooooong conversation with the shop assistant. I got so bored that when I got to the bras I started squeezing them, then when I looked around to see if there was anything else to do I saw a woman staring at me as if she had just seen a ghost… 

I very awkwardly strolled back to my mum with tomato red cheeks. She was still talking (no surprises there) - I looked around and spotted a lolly shop just outside in the mall, so I sneaked away from my mum very slowly and when I was sure she wasn't watching I ran to the shop and looked at all the lollies. Then, I saw the yummiest thing I've ever seen, a HUGE pack of gummy bears just waiting to be eaten, so I grabbed the pack very quickly and looked around to check if there was anybody looking and then I opened the pack and took a whole handful and stuffed them all in my mouth then I closed the pack and put it back. 

I then sprinted back to the shop that my mum was in but while I was sprinting an old man got in my way and I ran straight into him, the man took a long cold stare at me as if he was locking onto a target like ironman. By the time he  stopped looking at me my face was ghostly white, I was so scared I almost peed my pants and I felt so awkward I shuffled the rest of the way back to the shop as if I was a penguin.

 I finally arrived at the shop and went up to my mum and hugged her, and then realised that the person I was hugging wasn’t actually my mum, it was a woman who had the exact same coat on as my mum, so I  awkwardly fake-smiled and then hid behind a rack of t-shirts, then when I saw my actual mum pass by looking a bit worried I jumped out and hugged her, then she quickly wriggled out because she saw the lolly shop lady furiously running towards us. Honestly, I thought my Mum was going to have a talk to the lady (did I mention that's her specialty by the way?!), but instead she scooped up my little brother and shouted RUN!, anyway, that was only one of my experiences and miserable humiliations at the mall.

P.S never go to the mall without putting on plain white undies.

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